So he tries and tries and tries
to entrap me in my lies
And to make me feel ashamed
of what I had to do to live
If he knew it from the start
That he'd never have my heart
Isn't it wrong of him to try to take control?
To attempt to break me of my soul??
To try to rip a hole in my crumblimg wasted mind,
In my crumbling wasted numbed and dumbed down mind...
In my heart... I know....
that I will never surrender.
In my mind I know! That I! Will never! Surrender!
In my dreams I can see
a stronger and much more capable Me
And I guess it just serves me right
for relinquishing my dignity in every single fight...
Let him keep living in his psycho Sir psycho ways
Hoped that if I pretended he wasn't there I could survive these dark and terrible, empty, shitty, motherfucking treacherous days.
At the vending machine
I was deliriously wishing
To feel like I used to
Just a couple of months ago
I remembered I always drank Powerade
and I pushed the button
and what do you know
out comes Pink Lemonade!!
The Universe is trying to surprise me.
Maybe it's mocking me for thinking I had it all figured out.
Maybe it's trying to lift me up
But all I wanna do is crawl into a hole where from I'll never have to come out...
Regardless of all these trials
I'm stubbornly fastening myself to the dials
and I will go where God's Hand goes
because it's the only thing that makes me feel at ease.